it hurts more in the daytime
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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