I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize