what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
