All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
