you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
