If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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