theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
