so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
