he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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