Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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