She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
