@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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