If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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