Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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