i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
