I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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