Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
