my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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