Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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