i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
