just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
