I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I'm getting married
To pizza
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
