Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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