Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
