I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
