so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He keeps bees of course he's weird
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
