You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
