dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
