I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
