Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
