I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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