what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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