about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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