Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
