Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
