If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
