you would pick up someone in the library
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
