Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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