I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
