wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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