oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Randomize
