The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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