Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
You pole danced in your parka.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
