marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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