Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
