Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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