You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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