I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
