Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
