I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
