I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
