I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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