There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I take back everything I said about communal showers
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
