I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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