I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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