I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
