Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
