Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
