she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
