Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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