He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
