Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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