so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
